I must be honest….today is an extremely tough day. It should be no surprise because yesterday at GOkids we talked about Job and “I will worship God in the good times and Bad times”. I feel as though I have and as I said in Life Group last night, “I feel God has blessed me in a thriving environment as I continue to worship Him in the good and bad times.”. Today is just a tough day.
I woke up mad that Landen was gone. I felt awful because I thought that I was beyond that. I am not at mad at God…just mad Landen is gone. At the thought it feels like a knife stabbing my heart and my eyes are so stinking drippy.
I got up…spent some time with God…made a big breakfast…cleaned and as I was cleaning my office I found many momentous treasures. Things from friends, notes from loved ones and many little random items Landen had given me. One thing in particular I ran into was my little Kimi figurine from Japan. Landen had the Kim figurine.
Kim and Kimi are little red headed fairies from Japan who are believed to live in a specific tree. I can’t remember what the trees are called but they are smaller trees with wide trunks and have multiple branches going every which way! The fairies exist so that no child ever has to play alone. If a child feels alone all they have to do is call out for Kim or Kimi to come play and these little red headed fairies will plop out of the trees to play. Itsuko told us this story and laughed because she said Landen and I could be Kim and Kimi. (Kim is the boy and Kimi is the girl). We bought these little figurines to tie on to our cell phones but I ended up taking mine off to preserve it from the rough beating my cell phone seems to endure. I wonder what ended up with Landen’s “Kim”?
At Rumukub Village in Okinawa we took a picture hanging from the branches of a “ and Kimi tree”. Of course that was before we had digital cameras so sadly I have not a picture to post…only the lovely thought.
My prayer used to be, “Lord make me genuine and authentic”. I guess all of this has been shaping me to answer that prayer. In order for something to be genuine and authentic it must be tested and tried. I MUST endure! There is no option. I just miss Landen…but someday…SOMEDAY…we’ll get to spend eternity running and jumping, hanging from the trees in heaven.
I wonder what Landen is doing in Heaven today? Do you ever wonder that about your loved ones? It would be fun to know…maybe. Enough thoughts for now…
I woke up mad that Landen was gone. I felt awful because I thought that I was beyond that. I am not at mad at God…just mad Landen is gone. At the thought it feels like a knife stabbing my heart and my eyes are so stinking drippy.
I got up…spent some time with God…made a big breakfast…cleaned and as I was cleaning my office I found many momentous treasures. Things from friends, notes from loved ones and many little random items Landen had given me. One thing in particular I ran into was my little Kimi figurine from Japan. Landen had the Kim figurine.
Kim and Kimi are little red headed fairies from Japan who are believed to live in a specific tree. I can’t remember what the trees are called but they are smaller trees with wide trunks and have multiple branches going every which way! The fairies exist so that no child ever has to play alone. If a child feels alone all they have to do is call out for Kim or Kimi to come play and these little red headed fairies will plop out of the trees to play. Itsuko told us this story and laughed because she said Landen and I could be Kim and Kimi. (Kim is the boy and Kimi is the girl). We bought these little figurines to tie on to our cell phones but I ended up taking mine off to preserve it from the rough beating my cell phone seems to endure. I wonder what ended up with Landen’s “Kim”?At Rumukub Village in Okinawa we took a picture hanging from the branches of a “ and Kimi tree”. Of course that was before we had digital cameras so sadly I have not a picture to post…only the lovely thought.
My prayer used to be, “Lord make me genuine and authentic”. I guess all of this has been shaping me to answer that prayer. In order for something to be genuine and authentic it must be tested and tried. I MUST endure! There is no option. I just miss Landen…but someday…SOMEDAY…we’ll get to spend eternity running and jumping, hanging from the trees in heaven.
I wonder what Landen is doing in Heaven today? Do you ever wonder that about your loved ones? It would be fun to know…maybe. Enough thoughts for now…
No comments:
Post a Comment