The Last Cup 11.11.09
This morning I awoke and began making breakfast as usual…cracked some eggs, mixed in some milk and began to fry up some French Toast and Scrambled eggs with a side of coffee. I reached for my bag of coffee beans to grind but it was lighter than it had been…actually much lighter…probably only enough beans for one last pot of coffee. I couldn’t bring myself to use them so I brewed some older peppermint coffee -with which I was not greatly impressed.
The coffee I usually use on mornings as these is coffee Landen sent to me! Landen worked at Starbucks for the last year of his life and would send me a bag of coffee every now and then. I loved it first of all because it was from Landen…but it was coffee and it was mail! There could be no better combination!!! It’s funny how little things like this make you think of memories or people. It is rather a precious concoction so that is why those special beans are preserved for a special moment in time. I miss my coffee buddy and dear, dear friend who was my brother. God truly graced me with the very best!
Candles in the Playhouse 11.10.09
I am sitting here at my table watching a small flame dance around in a candle jar and it makes me think of me and Landen’s ridiculous fascination with burning candles in the playhouse my dad built for me so long ago. A small memory, but fun. We would talk around the candle in the playhouse or run our fingers through and see who could go through the flame the most times without being burned or we would dip the tips of our fingers in the wax and make wax fingers. None of this could be done in the house of course and heaven knows if we were supposed to be doing this in the playhouse, but we did. We bought all of our candles and matches from the dollar store with our allowance! What a thing to spend our allowance on, huh? Hahaha…we would ride our bikes a little over a mile to the Dollar General on Stone Street then purchase our matches and candles and venture back for some exciting times! Our cousins, Stephen and Shane joined us several times as well.
The Man Pill
I called my parents today because I was a little too sad. I was missing Landen. Dad was making pancakes while talking on the phone. I imagined him rampaging the kitchen as he hurriedly flipped pancakes as he does …then I heard him swallow something. I asked what he was doing…He began to answer…then he laughed for a second… “O I was just taking a man’s pill….Remember that, Riss?”. O, did I? Landen never let me forget it!
One morning when I was 12 or 13 we were finishing breakfast and I took what I thought to be my vitamins setting on the counter. Mom yelled in from the other room, “Leonard, your vitamins are on the counter.” I froze…then I rushed over to the sink and began to try to cough up the vitamins I had just taken. Landen asked, “What in the world are you doing?”
I looked at him in horror. “I took a man’s pill!”
Landen was quiet for a just a moment then he burst into laughter. My mom came into the room and asked what was going on. Landen sarcastically explained, “Oh, Larissa thinks she took a ‘man’s pill’.”
“Well, I did!” I was nearly in tears at this point but my mom started laughing.
I on the other hand was horrified and could not believe no one was taking me seriousily. “What is so funny? This is serious!”
Mom stopped laughing long enough to say, “It is a vitamin, honey not a pill. It just contains special vitamins for men.”
“I know! That is what I am worried about!”
“One vitamin will not hurt you…several will not hurt you…they just contain certain amounts of vitamins which men need. … It’s not like you grow anything different.”
Later, Landen asked me what I thought was going to happen…I never answered but now that he is gone and can tease me no longer I will admit I truly thought I may turn into a man of some sort because of that ‘man’s pill’. Thank God it was no such thing!!!

Dorthy 10.31.09
I never used to like to dress up in costume. It is still a stretch but I think the kids enjoy it. My cousin, Sarah loves for me to play dress up with her. I love to because she loves it so much. Anyway, I decided to dress as Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz for the Fall Family Festival. I put together the entire outfit complete with the red ruby slippers purchased at Target!
Landen loved Dorthy. Mostly he loved her for her ruby slippers. He noticed everyone’s shoes but especially if they were red high heels. He would always describe people by their shoes…you know the lady with the gold shoes that made a sharp point…or the man with the black cowboy boots….he always noticed the shoes! He would have loved knowing I dressed as Dorthy!

My Happy Pants 10.19.09
I have this favorite pair of pants which now bear many holes. I have tried to decide if they are my favorite because they fit just right or because they look stylish or because they receive interesting little comments every now and then? I had not quite discovered exactly why until one day off while out to the library in my favorite pair of pants. A little girl from church saw me and said, “Miss Larissa! You have holes in your pants! Why do you have so many holes in your pants?”
I laughed and said, “It is because they are my favorite pants and it is my day off! I guess that would make them my ‘happy pants’!”
“Oh.” She thought for a moment then asked, “Why do those holey pants make you happy?”.
I then took a moment to think and slowly began to answer, “Well, they are comfortable pants and make me feel warm inside…” as I began to talk I began to remember… “They make me think of happy memories. The day I bought these pants my brother and I were out of school (college) for the entire day and neither one of us had to work…which was very rare…so we decided to spend the day together! We went shopping, out to eat, studied at Krispy Kreme and ended the day at the movies to see the Phantom of the Opera. While shopping, I found these pants. Landen encouraged me to purchase them, so I did…I guess that is why they are my ‘happy pants’. They make me remember a very special day with my brother.”
The little girl had intently listened and assured me she understood. Then another day which was not my day off she saw me wearing some holey pants… “Miss Larissa! Why are you wearing your ‘happy pants’? It’s not your day off?”
I thought Landen would have loved this story.