There are some days that I awake and I just feel mad. I hate it but I do. Usually it is after I have a dream about Landen, but it always ends the same…he’s dead. Well, this morning was one of those mornings. I awoke hugging my little bear Landen gave to me even though I really do not care for stuffed animals…he got it for my 21st Birthday. When you pinch the paw it says “Larissa, you are the best sister anyone could ask for and my best friend. I hope you have a happy birthday and I hope you know I will always be there for you.”…maybe it was that last line that got me…he didn’t know that he wasn’t going to be here for me but it felt like it was a lie…it wasn’t…but it sure felt like it was. He would be here if he could. I know better than to go into full questioning why he had to go or what in the world happened…I really do have hope in Christ…my emotions are just upset. Needlesstosay…I feel mad and that alone makes me even more angry. Why does this always seem to happen when I have a lot to do or I don’t have time to deal or process? I miss him so much and I certainly do not know what to do about it but talk to God because nothing can replace my brother.
No comments:
Post a Comment