To the day...

Today marks six year to the day that I last saw my brother. Today as I did six years ago I had the opportunity to baptize several kids, we worshipped together and took communion. How sweet that these were some of the last moments in person I was given with my brother.

I remember clearly we sat in front of John and Millie Morris.  I had never had the opportunity to baptize anyone before and Pastor Richard afforded me the opportunity.  Tyler Webb, Miliahlah Specht and others were baptized that day.  Following service we went to Ichiban for lunch then back to my home at Wellongate to part ways.  Joyanna and Landen gave to me their present of  a green handbag and a Audrey Hepbern movie but best of all a very sweet card... Then we parted tearfully... I wander how things would have been different had I known that was the last I would receive a firm, reassuring hug from my best brother? How would I have reacted had I known I would never see that cute little Saturn roll to the front of my home again? How would I have been able to handle knowing this would be the last time in person? The Heavenly Father knew I would not of been able to handle this... This is why I didn't know and this is why I handle every moment with fullness.

I miss Landen so very much and some days it seems as though he existed in another lifetime but days like today are but reality that he did exist in this lifetime and is gone.

Sweet Memories brought by White House Black Market

It is funny how the simplest things can bring up the richest memories that have been set by great people.  This morning while watching the TODAY show a short commercial for the White House Black Market store came on and made me remember how thoughtful and kind my brother was.

For his wedding he took my mom shopping for a dress and bought it for her so she would have something special to wear.  He bought her the dress at the White House Black Market.

What sweet memories are you investing today?

Happy Birthday,Landen!

This weekend would have been my brother's 29th birthday.  I spent it celebrating our incredible cousin, Sarah's 11th birthday!  11 years ago from Saturday I had flown down to welcome her into the world (she was in Florida and it was my sophomore spring break!)  I remember calling Landen on my way to the airport to wish him a happy birthday.

Landen, Stephen and I loved hearing stories and receiving pictures in the mail during college years as Sarah grew and changed.  The picture featured is one of the many pictures which were sent to us.   We loved the picture sent of Sarah in leopard but I could not locate that pic...such a trendy little gal!  Landen's favorite story of Sarah was her walking around the house at age two WHISTLING!  Landen would eruptuously laugh as he imagined Sarah toddling around the house, so grown uply whistling her little tunes.  I still chuckle as I think of Sarah and as I think of her hilarious cousin.  He would really be roaring now at her unique humor and personality! 

We miss you, Landen!  Happy Birthday in heaven!

Auntie Larissa

selfishly i have always wanted to be an auntie...maybe even more than being a mother...when landen died part of that dream left as well...i thought i may never have the opportunity...then my best friend became relation and her boys my nephews and i married into a family with many nieces and nephews and others by affection...God has filled my life with so many blessings and tonight i was able to spend the evening with my two little nephews full of life and destiny!  i got jonas ready for bed and placed him in his bed...before leaving him , i held him and prayed over him... he had been squirmy all evening but as i prayed he fell quiet and still, when i said "amen" he looked at me and smiled...i gave him a tight hug and said, "i love you, jonas" and voluntarily he answered back, " i love you too!"...God is so good to restore beyond what we ask for as we press into him!  Ephesians 3:20 says something on that order...

^{Ephesians 3:20} Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Which One Won The Gold?

We are doing an Olympic theme in kids church: Go For God.  i must admit that i am very much enjoying the olympics and the Olympian stories.  Landen and i loved especially the Winter Olympics.    We would watch the olympics then play the olympics on our roller blades...of course medaling at every event...every once in a while our cousins, stephen and shane would join us.

One of our favorite lines growing up was from 101 Dalmations with Glenn Close.  Toward the ending, Cruella Deville (Glenn Close) and her two accomplices had landed themselves in the back of the jail wagon.  she very sarcastically congratulated them, "Congratulations!  you  just won the Gold, silver and bronze in the moron olympics!"...All is quiet then one of the slower crooks asks, " Which one won the gold?".  We would laugh, rewind, watch, laugh, rewind (and so on and so forth!)...lol

The stories of Joss Christenson sweeping the podium with the us  and winning the gold in spite of the loss of his father, Noelle Pikus-Pace winning the silver after almost giving up but her husband encouraging her to press on and finish the last event and the twin sister that gave her spot to the other when she herself could not compete in the biatholon have touched my heart and inspiried me inexpressably...but i must remember that they are competing for a reward that will not last forever...we are pressing on for the eternal prize! Can't you just imagine Landen with eternal awards!?!  Let's press on to join him!!!

PHiLPPiANs 3:14


For all of you esteemed proofreaders and critiques out there, there is a reason  i have not capitalized certain words...my keyboard is messed up and will not allow it...just to appease your little overworking minds:)

Ooze Some Love

Happy Valentine's Day, Landen
Miss you, buddy...

Landen always believed everyone should feel loved...as do I!  We even had a phone message for our answering machine which used the DC TALK song,
"We All Wanna Be Loved".  It didn't last long...Dad felt like we should have something a little more serious since we were a pastor's home...lol!

We used to get so down on those who called Valentine's Day  "Single Awareness Day" because we always believed Valentine's Day was a day where everyone EVERYWHERE should be love oozing out of everyone!  Today standing in line to order lunch I was reminded of the term 'Single Awareness Day" as I heard some embittered girls in sweatshirts with messy hair and no makeup talk of this.  Saddness gripped my heart...Instead of looking around to receive love perhaps they would be more fulfilled if they looked to see where they could ooze some love!

I remember one Valentine's Day in particular Landen took our cousin Jocelyn out for ice cream, me out for dinner( Bambinos...we laughed so hard the entire dinner!) and took his girlfriend out on a special date.  He was insistant that each of us feel so special.  In my 31 years of life I have been in a relationship of some kind for only 4 of those Valentine's Days.  I certainly appreciate the ones where I have been doted on by the love of my life, and cherish the specialness Landen placed on my life but I can honestly say in the moments I have had to ooze LOVE have been the best!

Try to at least show 3 people you love them today...it won't kill you!  I PROMISE!Happy Valentine's Day !

DC Talk "We All Wanna Be Loved"

A Bad Dream That Never Happened

    

i don't know if it is the ice and snow, Valentine's Day, my frustration with distracting relationships, or the burritos i ate last night but i had one of the worst dreams i have had in a while!  it was not a dream where i was running from a bad guy and couldn't get the door to shut behind me or about snakes seeking to strangle me or anything of that sort...it was a dream that has not happeend but happens to many people and most of the time could be prevented if they would take the time to hear from others and hear from GOD.

Here it goes:

We were having a get together at my Grandma and Grandpa Reynolds'...everyone came home with their own "surprise of craziness" from adoptions to marriages...but the biggest one of all that stressed me out continuously through the dream was LANDEN...he came home with this girl who was super dark, depressed, nose ring, and rough...while he was visiting he decided to propose...all the while before i was feeling extremely tumultuous about the situation and everyone else kept trying to appease by saying, "it's just a stage...he'll work out of it...this won't last"...but the proposal set me off!    i took Landen into one of the side rooms and nailed into him, "What are you thinking?  Do you feel sorry for her?  Don't you still feel called into innercity ministry?  How are you going to do that when she will be your ministry?".  ( i can not anywhere begin to speak of my great frustration in the dream and even now as  i write )  He just looked at me indifferently and said, " i love her....don't you understand!".  in the dream i never did convince my brother and thankfully it was nothing  i ever had had to do because in REALLiFE he had never put himself in that situation... 

Although Landen had a rescuing heart he recognized marriage was not the time to rescue...marriage was a time of teaming up with the one who could challenge you and you them, someone you could take on the challenges of life together, someone you could serve God with every breath and that is who God led him to in Joyanna.

Joyanna working with youth in Albany,Ny.




i awoke so stressed and burdened for those who are in relationships detouring them from God's marvelous destiny...those being fulfilled in trying to their boyfriend or girlfriend's savior...those who think they are stuck without a way out...  REMEMBER marriage is the COVENANT not the dating relationship!  Listen to those who God has put around you,  then weigh their advice as you seek for God's will. 

 God's destiny is never worth sacrificing for a relationship no matter how much you think you love them!